Have you ever wondered what our pets would write in a diary?
8am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
1pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5pm – Dinner! My favourite thing!
7pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Day 989 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was an assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Just as well they can’t write!
Dogs are easily pleased.
Cats rule – humans and dogs just better get used to it!